she farted in my face
Sex And Erotics

During 69, She Farted In My Face!

Fifty Shades Of Grey!

I never got an opportunity to read this book.

Most of the people who read it have claimed that it is nothing but a cheap fuck story.  And this ‘cheap fuck story’ aroused my curiosity.

Honestly, someone inside me said: “Shame on you! How come a fuck like you didn’t read an International Best seller ‘cheap fuck story’ ?”

While having a stroll in the mall, when I saw it on display in the front of the book store, I bought it.

Today, as I was feeling little exhausted after fucking a blonde all night long, I wasn’t in the mood to cook, so I had decided to eat out.

The only restaurant in the area was Olive Garden.

Inside Olive Garden…

Standing next to the entrance, clutching the copy of Fifty Shades of Grey between my fingers and thumb – I scanned the restaurant floor. Due to Sunday, it was almost packed. However, at the end, on my right, I found a table with two chairs – one of them was occupied by a young black woman and the other one was empty.

Even after fucking a blonde all night long, even after not having satisfactory experiences with black women, I couldn’t stop myself thinking about having sex with that young-black woman. From where I was standing, I could see that she didn’t look like my type, but when I see her closely, I would know how deep is the well in the water!!!   And, as I have always said – even the dirtiest water can extinguish the fire. You know what I mean!!!   

I headed toward her… approached her… and greeted her: – “Hey, how are you doing?”

Having a big bite of her quarter pound burger, she looked up and scrutinized me from my hair to toe so closely and carefully as if she wanted to hire me for some kind of physical job.

Without waiting for her answer, I asked: – “May I have a seat hear…?”

Chewing her bite like a cow, she said in a flat voice:  – “Sure…”

With her flat response, I couldn’t comprehend whether she liked or disliked my arrival.

In fact, why should I bother about whether she liked my arrival or not? By the way, who the hell understood the woman? Nobody!!! Then why should I try?

Placing Fifty Shades of Grey on the table, I had my seat in front of her.

The half of the table was messily filled with burger, fries, chicken legs, and obviously a glass of coke.

Yellow mustard sauce trickled down at the corner of her lip, when she took another bite of her quarter pound burger.

How could she keep herself so slim, if she has such detrimental diet? – 

She wiped mustard sauce with paper napkin. Her gauche mannerism was depicting her as an illiterate kind of a woman and her sense of dressing was also proving it.

Even if I prioritize sophistication and style, my ultimate goal is Pussy.  And every girl doesn’t have the classiness that I always look for. One should always explore other avenues of personality also. You get to know the people. You get to know the human psychology.

Meanwhile, the waiter appeared.

I placed an order for Grilled Chicken and wheat berry Salad with extra virgin olive oil – honey – twist of lemon – and a bottle of water.

Waiter left.

Now, you guys know me very well; I am not a kind of person who remains silent in front of a sexy and fuckable woman.

“If you don’t mind…” As she seemed to be a complex character, I asked for permission: – “I would like to ask you a question…”

Her mouth was busy gnawing – she drank Coke and pushed the food from the mouth into her stomach: – “Go ahead…”

“How can you be so slim after eating these kinds of fatty foods?”

“Good question… I liked you noticed it…“ She munched couple of wedges of potato: -“I eat this kind of food only on Sunday – on the other days of week, I eat what you have just ordered.

“Why?” It made me curious.

“’Cos, I loooooove junk food… but it’s unhealthy… so to treat my taste buds, I enjoy it only on Sunday…” She said it with little smile, at last.

“That’s cool…” I was amazed – the way she was managing her food habits, taste buds, and health.

Haphazardly – it was the way she was eating – which obviously didn’t impress me but her soft boobs from her low cut dress did!  I would say tempted me!

Honestly, even after Saturday night’s heavy fuck, on Sunday afternoon, I started craving to lick her pussy! The only thing that attracted me was natural rawness and untamed wilderness in her sex appeal.     

I observed, while eating, she glanced at the book – Fifty Shades Of Grey.

“Did you read this book?” I asked her. I wanted to keep talking. When you are with a woman, you need to keep on talking, that too interestingly. If you struggle what to talk, then you can’t impress the woman.

“Oh yea… three times… ”

“Three times…? You seem to be an avid reader. How did you like it?” I was eager as I was expecting uniquely distinct opinion.

“The book is erotic…” She said so proficiently as if she is an expert book reviewer: “The writer has manifested how to fuck and satisfy a woman but didn’t mention anywhere – how big was the protagonist Christian’s dick… I mean the size of his dick…”

Fuck… she is looking for a big dick… I felt panic inside my trouser; my tired dick got infused with the energy.

Then she narrated an in-depth erotic analysis of the book that I didn’t ask for.  She continued the narration till I got turned on.

“Does size matter to you?” I was turned on and wanted to fuck her now.

“Not really… “ Being little careless: -“It doesn’t matter to my pussy… but it does matter to my mouth…”

Fuck… Oral fanatic, totally! She enjoys mouth fucking more than pussy fucking. She is the game for sure.

“I see, so you like oral… “I was advancing.

“I looooove ORAL Sex…” With her lips, she made O of Orgasm.

“Me too…” It was my stroke.

“Wow…” She exclaimed and asked: -“By the way, how big is your Dick?”

Yes, I was looking for this! I got it!

With broad smile, gazing into her eyes, I said: -“I don’t boost of myself… You gotta see to believe it… “

Impishly, she gazed into my eyes and whispered with a naughty smile: -“I am waiting to have a look at your gun!!!”

Within half an hour…

As we checked into our hotel room, kissing each other vehemently, both of us have stripped each other’s clothes off on the floor hurriedly and haphazardly.

I was in front of her completely naked – with my Dick totally erected – standing tall – little slanted, it may be the result of little masturbation!

I observed her naked body from head to toe while she was tying her hair in chignon. Her dark body was so sensual that my tight dick started throbbing and pulsating.

In amazement, cupping the mouth with her palms, she was goggling at my dick.

“My God…”Mesmerized, she approached near, leaned forward, sat on her knee, grabbed my dick into her hand, gazed at it hungrily, played with it,  and said in an African twang: – “This is yum… this is really a real hot dog… must be tasty… I’m getting hungry, man… ”

Human is unusual. The nature of human is very strange. I get happy by sleeping with beautiful women and this beautiful woman gets happy by sucking my big dick. The reasons of being happy are also very peculiar.  

She kissed all around my dick, licked, got into her mouth, sucked – in and out – in and out – so frantically as if my it was a delicious lollipop.

After couple of minutes, keeping my dick in her mouth and encircling both of her hands around my waist and butts, she pushed me onto the bed against my back. Along with me, she also crawled on the bed.  My dick was still in her mouth. Then she turned herself around and positioned her pussy in front of my mouth. I embraced her waist and sunk my mouth between her legs.

We got into perfect 69 position.

With little hair, her pussy smelled neutral – neither good nor bad. I covered whole of her pussy with my mouth and inserted my long tongue inside as deep as possible.

Between my legs, I could feel her warm mouth in action. Her tongue was moving in a right way, at right place, and at right time. She knew how to perform the task, when to take deep down inside, and when to squeeze. I was feeling her mouth and sensing every movement of her. She seemed to be a blowjob expert.

My tongue was working on her clit – rubbing, stroking, and sucking. I could feel her body quivered and heard her nasal moan when her mouth was full with my dick.

By the way, she was enjoying big dick in her mouth.    

The battle on the bed was getting intensified and the stimulation was skyrocketing.



A blast….

A thunderous blast…

A thunderous dirty blast …

She farted …

She farted in my face …

She fucking farted in my face …

Before I could comprehend, strong odorous air was gusted into my nostrils and made me nauseated. I was about to throw up, however, covering my mouth with my palm, I controlled myself.

Leaving my dick out of her mouth, she pulled herself from me, got up and sat on bed.

Cupping my nose and mouth with my hand, I got up, sat on the bed, and saw embarrassment on her face.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hold in…” She, bowing her head down, said. It was difficult for her to maintain an eye contact with me.

I didn’t know what should I do? How should I react? How to talk to her? What should I say?

And I was not able to take my hand away from my nose, as the air in the room reeked of rotting fish.

Suddenly, naked, she got out of the bed, swept past the room, leaning over and picking up her clothes scattered on the floor, went into the bathroom.

She farted in my face!  I didn’t get what is happening with me? I know farting is natural. But when one feels that it’s coming, one can hold it. She could have hold it and made some excuse to go to bathroom to release it. Why the fuck she farted in my face? And she farted in my face when I was giving her pussy nice licks and sucks!!!  Fuck, she fucked up my fucking experience.

After couple of minutes…

My eyes darted to the bathroom door, as I heard the sound of its opening.

She emerged wearing the clothes as before, stopped for a while. Making eye contact partially, she said pathetically: – “I am very sorry again, it was worse than what I expected…”

I had lost my senses to react.

Without expecting my reaction, she reached to the main door, opened it, and then I heard the thud of its closing.

Silence fell for few moments…

I removed my hand from my nose and inhaled. Now the air smelled almost clean. I got out of the bed and saw my dick – it was hanging flaccidly, still smeared with her spit. As my dick again reminded me of her dirty fart, the wave of nausea engulfed me again which made me cover my mouth with my palm again and rush to the bathroom. I just wanted to end this feeling of disgust which was bothering me over and again. Putting my finger deep down into the throat, I forcibly threw up the chicken salad that I ate at the restaurant.

I felt little easy.

And then I stood under the hot water shower so resolutely, as if I wanted to wash away the smell of her dirty fart out of my existence.

After half an hour, I was out of the Hotel room.

Now I needed a nice hot French Roast coffee with Irish Cream to end the day with good note.

Guys, not a good day today :(

We all should understand – in life, every time things don’t fall into the right place.

On top of it, as I said earlier – Whenever I attempted black women, I always encountered unexpected incidents.

Anyway, time will heal me. Meanwhile you carry on whatever you are doing. Keep on fucking somebody and keep on getting fucked by somebody….

No matter what happens in life, FUCK should go on…